Let me preface my thoughts with a few apologies.
First, to my friends who happen to be thin, I mean in no way to offend you. If you are my friend, I do not place you in the same category as what I shall henceforth refer to as ‘the skinny girl’.
Second, to the general public, I am ashamed to say that I will be making some sweeping generalizations. This is against my personal code of ethics, and I would hold you in contempt for doing the same, so I apologize for being a walking double standard.
For a long while, I have struggled with my weight as well as my body image. I do not like my current weight, and I am not happy that I have been unable to successfully return to the weight I was not satisfied with before I got pregnant with my second child.
I have long been unsatisfied with the way my body looks. For one thing, I have a giant behind. For the last quarter of a century, I have had what my father calls ‘woman hips’. I have also had a feminine pooch for about as long. Granted, both are much bigger now that I have had two children, but even when I was younger, I was not blessed with a flat stomach or ‘boy hips’. This has caused many a problem for me when shopping for clothes because clothing designers think I should have both. As such, I am a woman who hates shopping. It seems every time I try on a pair of jeans, they are too tight in front and reveal the color of my underwear to the entire western hemisphere. So, when I find a pair of jeans that actually fits, I wear them out — usually somewhere in the crotch because my thighs rub together when I walk.
Woe is me, right?
Woe to the skinny girl. You see, to save some measure of self-worth, I direct a lot of my frustration toward her. She is my nemesis. Clothing designers love her. I don’t, and here are some reasons why:
1. The skinny girl loves to strut her stuff. Has anyone else noticed this? How many skinny girls have this walk that says, “Look at me and how well I fit into jeans you couldn’t put a big toe into.” (Again, I apologize to my friends who are blessed with being naturally thin. I don’t think this when I see you.)
2. The skinny girl makes sure you notice her. I saw evidence of this when the man and I were out shopping (for house paint, not clothes). This young, skinny thing walked right in front of our car as we pulled into the parking lot. She didn’t pay any attention to us. She was confident enough in herself to walk right in front of us and even slow down as she reached the display outside the store. (I forgot to mention that not only did she have a flat stomach and boy hips, but she also had some rather large hooters. I think it was these she was counting on the man driving my car to slow down for — which he did.)
3. The skinny girl gets noticed. Did I mention that the man slowed down? Yes? What about the comment he made? Did I mention that? No? Well, let me fill you in. To be fair, I should tell you that his comment was in response to my rather sarcastic remark about the absence of her behind, and I am fairly certain he was trying to get a reaction out of me. He did. Twice. On the arm. I later apologized for the second time I hit him but claimed the first was completely justified. Why? Because even though I am the one who drew his attention to the girl’s physique, he still noticed.
I admit that part of the reason I have such a problem with the skinny girl is mere jealousy. I’m not her. I never was, and I never will be. Even when I don’t have the kids, I carry the evidence of two pregnancies with me — wide hips and saggy boobs. I don’t look cute in shorts and a tank top. And jeans still don’t fit me right. Even the maternity pair I keep in the closet as backup just doesn’t work.
I know it’s not healthy to obsess over what I’m not. And I know I’m not the only one who does. If I were the skinny girl, I would still find something wrong with my appearance. Why we women feel the need to do this is beyond me. And why we feel the need to lash out at other women because we’re not happy with ourselves is even more beyond me. But we do.
My only advice is that if you are the skinny girl, watch out for mad raving lunatics like me. We can be a vicious breed.