The Toddler Olympics

And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the event you’ve all been waiting for. That’s right…it’s the Tuesday Afternoon Toddler Olympics (taking place alongside the locally famous after-school violin practice). Our  competitors include a small but feisty newcomer and her more seasoned rival. Today’s events will test them to their physical and emotional limits and will prove once and for all who is the stronger of the two.

For our first event, we have the hallway dash. The competitors are lined up, each carefully eyeing the other as they await the signal. This event features a tricky curve that will be a challenge for the newcomer, who is not as steady on her feet as her rival. But, the newcomer’s youthful energy will help to even things out. It will be an interesting match.

And they’re off. The newcomer takes an early lead as the signal has apparently taken her rival off guard. She makes a quick recovery, though, and soon catches up to the newcomer. Now here’s the curve, and just as we suspected, folks, it slows the newcomer down. Her rival overtakes her, and the race is over. That’s a win for the rival.

And now, it’s on to the second event of the day, the book throw. The newcomer looks to be a fierce competitor for this event. She certainly has been training for it. And as her rival has been out of practice for a number of years, she is sure to edge out the competition.

The newcomer is up first. For her throw, she chooses a lightweight paperback, the perfect choice for her small frame, though she has been known to handle much larger tomes. There she is poised and ready for her throw. She pulls her arm back. It looks like it’s going to be an overhand throw, folks, which will be a tough one to beat.

And there’s the release. Look at it go. That certainly is a long distance for such a short arm, but this competitor has proven time and again to have strength beyond her size. Of course, the landing surface ensures a smooth glide to its final resting spot.

And now it’s the rival’s turn. She has chosen a chunky board book and will toss it underhand. For her throw, precision and timing are key. She will need to ensure that the book hits a target just mere inches from the newcomer’s position. If her throw is unsuccessful, she will indeed fail to attract the attention of the competition, and that could have disastrous results for us all.

We won’t have to wait long to find out. There’s the pull. And the release. Oh no! She missed the target! So now, much more quickly than anticipated, we are on to our final event, the stairway vault.

The competitors are tied, so the winner of this event will be our champion. As the more agile of the two, the rival has the advantage, but the newcomer’s sheer determination will work in her favor. She knows the goal and is set on achieving it. Her rival cannot rest yet.

It looks like the newcomer will go first. Without hesitation, she is sprinting ahead. Just look at that focus. This will be a true test of her physical strength. She will have to use both her arms and legs to hoist herself up.

There’s one leg. It looks like she’s struggling. She’s trying to get enough of a foothold, but the height of the stair may be too much for her. She’s not giving up though. Uh-oh, here comes her rival. If she makes it over the stair before the newcomer, victory will be hers.

She makes her approach with ease, and yes, she has done it! She has overtaken the newcomer and won the competition! Amazing! The rival’s speed and agility has once again bested the newcomer’s energetic determination.

So that concludes this edition of the Tuesday Afternoon Toddler Olympics. Indeed, the newcomer has been beaten, but it looks as though this competition has taken its toll on the rival. These events may well have beaten her. She’ll certainly need to get her rest before the next match-up. Until next time, ladies and gentleman…

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6 Responses to The Toddler Olympics

  1. Jason says:

    Sounds like an event I should add to my daycare.

  2. Hilarious! We have toddler olympics at my house too, but the events include jello throwing contest, and kick boxing.

  3. That’s hilarious! I was reading all fast and stuff, like a sports announcer would say it.

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